Amber Eboni 4/18/23 Amber Eboni 4/18/23

Episode Seventeen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

(Audio for this podcast can be found under the Podcast Tab on the navigation menu)

[Intro Music – “There is poetry all around me…”]

Hello and Welcome to this week’s episode of the Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week? This week I want to talk about the Japanese drama, Animals. But first, please listen to a brief disclaimer before we get started.

This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for any professional medical, psychological, financial, legal, or other advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you feel you are in a life-threatening situation, please promptly contact the appropriate authorities, medical providers, or crisis intervention service providers in your local area for immediate assistance. All rights are reserved and this podcast, in whole or in part, may not be distributed, reproduced, or otherwise used without the written permission of Hyssop & Ebony LLC.

Alright! Now let’s get started!

This week while I was on the Rakuten Viki app, I stumbled upon a drama called Animals. It was really good so I’m discussing it with you now. The story follows Shikamori Umi, played by actress Suzuki Airi, who initially works as an Assistant Director on a television program. She’s overworked though, and ends up falling asleep while holding cue cards in the middle of the broadcast during a beauty segment, and the camera pans over to her causing her to be shown on TV everywhere. This incident makes her workplace look bad, and so they want her to apologize for it on air, but she - rightfully - refuses. Around the same time, she gets an offer to interview with the makeup company shown during the on-air beauty segment, and she takes that opportunity. After the interview, she thinks she failed, and she ends up confiding in a photographer named Kazao, who she’s run into a couple times. She tells him that she wants to change who she is. She didn’t use to have time to care about her appearance before, or to sleep properly, or focus on anything except work, but now she wants to improve herself and her quality of life. Luckily, she passes the interview for the makeup company, Animal Beauty, and once accepted we get to see her give it her all.

Kazao, the photographer, is the person that she meets first, and so if you’ve been watching dramas for a while, we all know what that means. But, I actually really liked the president of the makeup brand who was also a potential love interest in this story.

One of the other things I really liked about this drama was Suzuki’s acting. She reminded me of the actress who played in Coffee Prince, which is a Korean drama. That clumsy yet sincere, or silly but charming sort of vibe. Very endearing. Her portrayal of the protagonist made me want to see her succeed. All the actors were very talented actually, and I’d love to see more of their work.

It’s a sweet drama about figuring out what you want in life, and I’d say that it even advocates changing who you are so that you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be. I also really love the soundtrack but I haven’t figured out which song was used yet.

Please note that there might be some spoilers ahead as I talk about certain episodes that I enjoyed and why.

An episode that really stood out to me was Episode Five. In that episode, a model for the brand confesses her love to the president, and he rejects her. Instead of sulking, the model confronts the president and tells him that he shouldn’t solely focus on work. Instead, he should focus on himself and be more self-aware. You see, she’s noticed he likes the female lead, but it seems like he has no idea about his own feelings, and she won’t tell him until he recognizes it for himself. Later on in this episode, we see that he starts thinking about what the model said and tells his colleague and good friend, who also happens to be the female lead’s boss - while they’re in his office - that he’s trying to figure out if he likes the female lead, which is a really hilarious moment. The colleague has to walk away and compose himself because he’s so stunned by the news, and then the president asks what he should do about it since he usually only thinks about work. The president’s worried because it’s problematic for him to date a subordinate so the colleague tells him to talk to her and try to gauge if the feelings are mutual before he asks her out. The president asks Shikamori out awkwardly under the guise of some sort of random market research type of outing and she agrees to go, not realizing that it’s a date. Another aspect of this episode that I love is that when Shikamori’s younger sister prepares to go on a first date with someone, Kazao, and all of her female coworkers, gather together to have her try on different looks for it. The coworkers bring over their own clothes for her to try on and pick from, and it’s in exchange for the sister to give feedback on low cost makeup trends for people in her age group.

Kazao likes Shikamori, but she treats him as a younger brother for a good portion of the show, until after her younger sister’s date, when they go out for dinner where Shikamori usually eats with Kazao, and Shikamori gets drunk, and he shows up and walks her home. He hears from her younger sister that she’s going on a date with the president, and then on the walk home, he holds her hand while they’re walking when she’s off balance. I should probably mention also that in the show Kazao is 23 and Shikamori is 27, so there’s not too much of an age difference there, but he is younger.

In Episode Six, Shikamori has her date with the president, and we see that they’re very similar in that they’ve both been focusing on work and haven’t been thinking about love ever since they graduated college. After the date, Kazao shows up randomly at her apartment. They end up arguing later on though because the conversation they have that night inspires her to write a proposal for a photo exhibition where his name would be prominently displayed alongside his photos for the brand. She speaks to him about the exhibition and he declines because he wants to go overseas and take other types of photos, not commercial photos. He’s just doing the Animal Beauty gig for money to save for that trip. They have a difference of opinion about it and she doesn’t want to apologize so they don’t talk for a while afterwards and it looks like they won’t reconcile at first.

In Episode Seven, the president encourages Kazao to follow his dream quickly and go overseas sooner rather than later, encouraging him to pursue his own goals. It’s interesting because in another drama, he would be doing this so that he could have an easier time courting the female lead, but here, he’s genuinely wanting the best for Kazao. He never really thinks about how Shikamori might feel towards Kazao, it’s as if he assumes that they’re just friends for a lot of the show. He mostly has internal sorts of angst about how he should pursue her, there isn’t that typical competition between the first and second male leads which is refreshing. Perhaps it’s because they’ve worked together for several years and so the president views him as a friend, not just an employee. A moment of growth for the female lead occurs in this episode. She used to run around 24/7 doing everything she could to excel at work, but when she gets asked to go on the television program she used to work for, she declines. Her old boss tells her that she’s – and I quote, “changed in a good way.” We then see that Shikamori manages to secure segment time for Animal Beauty’s new product on that program. She’s a very capable worker, and it’s really great to watch her change into a better person in real time. And when I say better, I mean that she puts her own needs first, and stands up for herself without hesitating, unlike how she was conflicted in the beginning of the show as she struggled to decide what was best for her after the cue-card incident. This episode also is when she finds out the photographer is leaving Japan and we see that she’s upset he didn’t tell her directly.

In Episode Eight, Kazao tells Shikamori that he likes her, but then he says he doesn’t need a reply from her because he’s going overseas that following week and he doesn’t want to bring anything with him. He then tells her to become the person she wants to be, and to be happy. Ultimately, she tells him she likes him back, but they almost part ways without her saying anything. I wasn’t sure how it was going to be resolved because there was so much distance between them at various parts of the show, but at some point I did have a feeling there would be an airport scene and I was right. She goes to the airport frantically trying to see him before his flight leaves and once she finds him she tells him how she feels. I think that the show is resolved really nicely, and there wasn’t any unnecessary conflict, which I appreciated.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this episode. If you’ve also watched Animals, please let me know your thoughts! You can leave a comment on our website hyssopandebony.com, or on this episode’s post on our Instagram page at WhatGotMeThroughTheWeek. You can also send an email to whatgotmethroughpodcast@gmail.com. The transcript and audio for this episode will be posted on our website, HyssopandEbony.com.

Until next time!

[Outro Song – “Ocean waves on busy streets, butterflies on the concrete. The beauty I could not see becomes a deeper part of me. You remind me, You are present in every single thing.”]

Intro & Outro from Magnified (a cappella) © Amber Eboni

Amber Eboni 4/1/23 Amber Eboni 4/1/23

Episode Sixteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

(Audio for this podcast can be found under the Podcast Tab on the navigation menu)

[Intro Music – “There is poetry all around me…”]

Hello and Welcome to this week’s episode of the Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week? This week I want to talk about some of the shows and new music that I’ve been consuming over the last few months. But first, please listen to a brief disclaimer before we get started.

Alright! Now let’s get started!

I’ll give brief remarks about each show or album, but I really just want to talk about what I most enjoyed about them without going into too much detail. It’s my hope that you’ll check them out for yourself and let me know what you thought of them!

The Korean drama Reborn Rich is first. I still haven’t actually finished this drama yet but I got through a good chunk of it. The protagonist starts off as an employee for a corporation who’s looked down on by his coworkers because of his background and the fact that he’ll do anything that’s asked of him as long as he gets a paycheck. He’s ultimately betrayed by the company that he’s been loyal to for years, and then he somehow wakes up in the past as a member of the family that owns the corporation. What I’ve enjoyed most about this show is that the protagonist has the upper hand because he retains his memory of all the historical events that are now happening all around him. Because of that knowledge, he’s able to make choices and investments that grow his wealth and status in his competitive family, in incredible ways, and it’s been fun to watch it all unfold. I stopped watching at the moment because the infighting between the family was sort of souring the experience for me, but eventually I’ll go back to finish it. I just have to be in the right mindset for it. I’ve been watching it on Rakuten Viki.

SZA’s album, SOS, is next. I became a fan of SZA after I listened to this album and fell in love with the second half of it. Songs like “Nobody Gets Me,” “Far,” “Conceited,” “Too Late,” and “Special,” really resonated with me, and even “Good Days,” which is a song that’s been out for a while, has been on repeat for months. I want to talk about the opening lines of the song “Far,” which really stand out to me. As shown on genius.com, it’s a conversation where SZA asks, and I quote, “How do I deal with rejection? I’m dealing with a lot of rejection right now. It makes me feel very small.” And then Sadhguru – whose credited with additional vocals on the track according to what’s listed on genius.com - responds by saying, and I quote, “Oh, that’s great. If nobody wants you, you’re free.” I just think that that statement alone is very powerful, and empowering, and I never viewed rejection in that way before. So, that’s just one example of why I’ve enjoyed listening to this album.

RM’s album, Indigo, is another album that I’ve really enjoyed listening to over the last few months. This album shows just how versatile RM’s artistry is, and it made me appreciate him even more as a songwriter. Some of my favorite songs off this project are – “All Day,” with Tablo from Epik High, “Still Life,” with Anderson .Paak, “Forgetful,” with Kim Sawol, “Change Pt. 2,” and “No. 2,” with Park Ji Yoon. The lines that always stand out to me from the song, “No. 2,” as confirmed on genius.com, are from the outro that goes, and I quote, “So no / No lookin’ back, no /No lookin’ back [...] Don’t look back no more.” I really love this album and there’s a lot of content on YouTube if you want to see him performing, and he has a very insightful interview with Zach Sang that I recommend checking out as well.

Three Bold Siblings is a Korean drama that I’ve been watching every weekend over the last few months. It was sort of a mess in the middle and towards the end because they devoted a lot of time to a birth secret and related family grudge story line that seemed unnecessary, and kept the ex-boyfriend of the second daughter of one of the two main families in the story for way longer than was needed, but the saving grace for this drama, in my opinion, was the love story between that second daughter, So Rim, a Pilates instructor, and Mu-Young, the CEO of a cosmetics company. The second daughter is played by actress Kim So-Eun, and I’ve been a fan of hers since the drama, Happiness in the Wind. The CEO is played by an actor that I’ve never seen in a drama before, Kim Seung-Su. The development of their slow burn romance is what really kept me tuning in each week. They were absolutely the best part of this show and I’m recommending it solely because of their story arc because it’s worth watching in spite of the other somewhat frustrating plot lines. I watched this on the KOCOWA app, but I think it’s also available on Rakuten Viki.

The Chinese drama, Flight to You is another slow burn romance that I adored. It’s also available on Rakuten Viki. It’s about two pilots who fall in love. This show made me appreciate how hard it is to work in the aviation industry, especially if you’re a woman. There was a bit of a detour in the plot towards the end that seemed a bit overdone, taking me somewhere I didn’t care to go as a viewer, but overall, it was worth watching the leads fall in love. The female lead is played by actress Tan Song Yun, also known as Seven Tan. I’d actually like to recommend pretty much all the other shows that I’ve seen her in, which are Master of my Own, The Fox’s Summer series, My Mr. Mermaid, and Go Ahead. She has fantastic chemistry with every male lead. I discovered her on a whim through The Fox’s Summer while I was deep in the midst of grief many years ago on New Year’s Day, and the show was so entertaining that I looked for other shows that she starred in immediately afterwards.

The Korean drama, May I Help You? was very good. I’ve been a fan of Hyeri, the actress who plays the female lead in this drama, since she played an iconic role in the show Reply 1988, and prior to watching her in May I Help You?, I saw her in the show My Roommate is a Gumiho, which is absolutely hilarious. May I Help You? is a more somber drama, about a woman who works at a funeral home and has the ability to see those who’ve passed away. She helps them to accomplish any last wishes that they might have. There’s also romance in this show, and it’s just a drama that made me very emotional watching it. I cried almost regularly as I saw the various stories unfold. It’s written really well, and I’d recommend checking it out. I watched it on Prime Video.

Paramore came out with a new album, entitled, This is Why. My favorite songs are the title song, “This is Why,” “Running Out of Time” and “Crave.”

Lastly, I want to discuss the documentary, j-hope IN THE BOX. Last year I discussed J-Hope’s performance at Lollapalooza and recently a documentary about his preparations for his solo album and that iconic performance came out on Disney Plus and it was so great. I’d highly recommend taking a look at it because we see just how involved he was in each aspect of the production and the promotions for his solo album. We even get to see some of his interactions with his parents and the behind the scenes with the dancers and his pre-release party, and I just was impressed with his work ethic and that he allowed us to have that much access to certain parts of his life that he could’ve just kept private. I felt so honored as a viewer to be able to see those aspects of who he is.

There’s a song that he recently released called “on the street” that I’d like to recommend as well. In j-hope IN THE BOX, we see J-Hope meet J-Cole for the first time, backstage at Lollapalooza. That’s important because he’s looked up to J-Cole for a long time, and you could tell that there was so much respect between them as artists. It was heartwarming to witness that moment. J-Hope is likely going to the military soon and he released the song “on the street” with J-Cole on it. It’s my understanding that the song is a way for J-Hope to honor his past – when he used to dance and listen to J-Cole’s music when he was younger- while also indicating how far he’s grown as an artist and where he hopes to go in the future. In the music video, we see him in New York City walking and dancing on the street and in the subway and then he ends up on the rooftop of a building with J-Cole, which is a beautiful depiction of his journey thus far. He’s truly made it, and yet, I’m sure he’s only getting started and that he has so much more to show us as an artist and musician that we haven’t seen yet. When I listened to the song for the first time, it blew me away. Truly one of the best BTS collaborations with an American artist. I didn’t know what to expect going into it, but it surpassed all of the expectations I could’ve had. It’s such a great song, and I’ve been listening to it regularly since it was released.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this episode and my recap of some of the content that’s been getting me through the last few months. If you’ve watched any of these shows or listened to any of these songs or albums please let me know your thoughts! You can leave a comment on our website hyssopandebony.com, or on this episode’s post on our Instagram page at WhatGotMeThroughTheWeek. You can also send an email to whatgotmethroughpodcast@gmail.com. The transcript and audio for this episode will be posted on our website, HyssopandEbony.com. The podcast is back on its weekly schedule, at least for now, and I look forward to talking more about lots of other content that’s brought me joy lately in upcoming episodes.

Until next time!

[Outro Song – “Ocean waves on busy streets, butterflies on the concrete. The beauty I could not see becomes a deeper part of me. You remind me, You are present in every single thing.”]

Intro & Outro from Magnified (a cappella) © Amber Eboni

Amber Eboni 11/19/22 Amber Eboni 11/19/22

Episode Fifteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

(Audio for this podcast can be found under the Podcast Tab on the navigation menu)

[Intro Music – “There is poetry all around me…”]

Hello and Welcome to this week’s episode of the Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week? This week I’m gonna talk about the Korean drama, Love In Contract. But first, please listen to a brief disclaimer before we get started.

Alright! Now let’s get started!

Love in Contract is a 16 episode drama that I watched on the Rakuten Viki App.

The female protagonist is, Choi Sang Eun, a woman adopted into a chaebol family who uses the marriage training she received while growing up to work as a single life helper. What’s a single life helper, you may ask? Someone who pretends to date, get engaged, or marry a single person, so that they can fulfill their family’s or society’s high expectations of marriage. An example of this would be her roommate and best friend, Woo Gwang Nam, an expert at taekwondo and a talented singer, who is also her former client. He’s gay, and he felt he had to hide who he really was from his family, because of their bigoted views, and he felt as if he could not live freely as himself. So, he married Sang Eun, just to make his parents happy, but they ended up getting divorced. In fact, Sang Eun has gotten married and divorced over ten times as part of her job. This is a key part of the story, so keep it in your mind for a moment.

Sang Eun is played by the Rom Com Queen, Park Min Young. I’ve been a fan of hers for years, and she’s been the lead actress in several dramas that I love, including Healer, What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim and Her Private Life. She’s a very expressive and talented actress.

I’ve seen many dramas with contractual dating, but this was the first where it was a character’s job to enter into marriage contracts in an effort to help people fulfill familial obligations and expectations – like last wishes of relatives for their loved ones to marry, or to help people be accepted by their families and society.

The male protagonist is Jung Ji Ho, a family court judge. The fact that Sang Eun has been married and divorced so many times is a key part of the story because that process is how she ends up meeting Ji Ho. He sees Sang Eun come into his court room several times and becomes curious about her, and ultimately he hires her for a marriage contract himself that – as of the beginning of the story – has lasted five years. His initial goal was to ease her burden in some way.

Ji Ho’s played by Go Kyung Pyo. I first saw him in the drama, Reply 1988, which for me is like such a perfect drama. It’s an instant classic which I would highly recommend, it’s still on Netflix, I think. Anyway, I’ve been a fan of his ever since. He was also in Chicago Typewriter which is an excellent drama, that I also suggest you watch if you’re able to find it. It used to be on Netflix but it was removed last year.

The premise of the show is that Sang Eun is ready to retire from her job, but she finds it difficult to end things with Ji Ho. Once she musters up the courage to do so, she ends up getting roped into another contract with someone else – Hae Jin, a top star that no one knows belongs to a chaebol family, who considers her to be his first love, even though she doesn’t remember him. Hae Jin tells the world she’s his fiancé to stop rumors about him and to stop having to go on blind dates, which is selfish, but at least he covers her face when he pulls her in front of the cameras. Around this time, she has to spend her money to help someone out of a bad situation, leaving her plans for retirement in limbo. This twist of fate complicates things, and she decides to take on one last job with this top star, but Ji Ho can’t let her go.

It’s an unconventional drama, but one that kept my attention each week while it was airing. That’s why I’m recommending it to you now.

I’ll talk about some of my favorite aspects of the show now, but please know there might be spoilers ahead.

Ji Ho’s character is portrayed in a really unique way, and in some ways I could relate to him, so I just appreciate the way his story was developed. At first they’re vague about what his job is, and so it looks like he’s involved in nefarious things, but then we learn he’s just a reclusive judge who’s working on one of his cases, not doing anything wrong. What I relate to the most is that Ji Ho was hurt by love in the past and so he shuts people out of his life now and stays to himself as a way of protecting his heart. He doesn’t talk much to other people, they gossip about him at work because he seems unfriendly, but really he just doesn’t know how to connect with other people. He literally takes a class about how to connect with others because he’s so socially awkward and anxious about how he should act when other people are around.

When Sang Eun ends things with him, and he needs to get her back, he finally realizes what’s most important to him, and he let’s her into his life more deeply than he did before. Instead of just having dinner together three days a week, he asks her for advice about things at work and asks her to interact with his coworkers for various reasons and by doing so she expands his social circle. Her loving him openly, makes other people love him and see the good parts of him as well, and he also learns how to connect with others because of her positive influence in his life. He also opens up his heart towards her, and loves her in a stable and reliable way that she’s never experienced before. They make each other better and we as viewers watch the growth in their relationship, and how they grow as individuals in each episode. It’s just very rewarding to witness and it made me feel as if anything is possible. As if life can get better - even if right now that ‘better life’ might seem out of reach.

I think another great aspect of this show is that no one is quite what they seem. Ji Ho seemed cold and distant to others, but he just needed to figure out how to connect and once he did, he thrived. Ji Ho seemed to be afraid of his boss, but it turned out that his boss was warmhearted and catered to his wife lovingly. Ji Ho’s ex wife seemed like she’d become one of those notoriously obsessive exes trying to get him back, but then she ultimately accepted his decision and helped him when needed, but cared about him from afar. Hae Jin, the top star second lead, seemed like he would be selfish and get in the way of Sang Eun finding love with someone else, but then he let her go for her benefit, and supported her and helped her even after he knew he didn’t have her heart and that she would never choose to be with him. And Yoo Mi-ho seemed like she was going to be the antagonist of the story at first, but she ended up being an endearing character who only wanted the best for Sang Eun.

There are so many small moments that I enjoyed. Like when Ji Ho and Sang Eun shared their first kiss. When she went to a birthday dinner for his coworker and brought a gift because she knew he wouldn’t. When she competed at belly dancing with his coworker when they held an event at his house. When he asked her out to dinner and she expected to see him but Yoo Mi Ho was there instead and they started to repair their relationship. When she picked out his clothes for him, and in anger made him wear a scarf instead of a tie, but he had no clue that it was unfashionable and wore it to work! When she daydreamed about romantic things that they might do together. He hesitated to express himself in the beginning and so each time he told her how he felt - and asked her to be just as transparent with him - felt like a win. I don’t know how to explain it. These little moments accumulated into a larger appreciation of what this show is all about. I also really loved her friendship with Gwang Nam, he was a confidant and supportive person in her life who just depicted what a good friend should be. And Ji Ho’s coworkers were great characters as well. And while I didn’t want her with the top star second lead, Hae Jin, he was wonderfully portrayed, and I’ll certainly be watching that actor in whatever show he signs up for next.

Overall, I just really adored this drama. It isn’t necessarily my favorite Park Min Young drama, What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim and Her Private Life are hard to beat, but still I’m glad that I watched it because it gave me hope. That there are good people in this world. That second chances are possible. That the right people will accept you for who you are and love you for who you are, without you having to change a thing. And yet, you’ll also bring out the best in each other and help each other to become better people along the way.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this episode. As usual, if you’ve also enjoyed this drama and want to talk more about it, please leave a comment on our website hyssopandebony.com, or on this episode’s post on our Instagram page at WhatGotMeThroughTheWeek. You can also send an email to whatgotmethroughpodcast@gmail.com. The transcript and audio for this episode will be posted on our website, HyssopandEbony.com.

The holidays are coming up and so this podcast will be on hold until the new year. You can expect new episodes starting April 1, 2023. Happy Holidays to you all, and Happy New Year in advance! I truly appreciate every person who has taken the time to listen to my ramblings about the content that I love, which has helped me to keep going in life each week. I hope at least some of the shows and musicians that I’ve recommended have helped and entertained you like they’ve helped and entertained me. I look forward to bringing you more episodes next year.

Until next time!

[Outro Song – “Ocean waves on busy streets, butterflies on the concrete. The beauty I could not see becomes a deeper part of me. You remind me, You are present in every single thing.”]

Intro & Outro from Magnified (a cappella) © Amber Eboni

Amber Eboni 11/12/22 Amber Eboni 11/12/22

Episode Fourteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

(Audio for this podcast can be found under the Podcast Tab on the navigation menu)

[Intro Music – “There is poetry all around me…”]

Hello and Welcome to this week’s episode of the Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week? This week I’m gonna talk about Kelsea Ballerini’s new album, Subject to Change. But first, please listen to a brief disclaimer before we get started, and please note that all songwriting information and lyric information that’s mentioned in this episode was found on Genius.com.

Alright! Now let’s get started!

I’ll start off by saying that I don’t listen to country music often, and when I do, it’s either Taylor Swift or Mickey Guyton. However, there was a song that I really loved in the past, that falls outside of those two artists, and it’s called ‘Miss Me More,’ and it’s by Kelsea Ballerini. And so, when I was scrolling through iTunes to buy a different album, I noticed that Kelsea Ballerini had a new album out, entitled Subject to Change, and it caught my eye. What got me to actually listen to it though was the title song, because it intrigued me. What kind of song would have the title ‘Subject to Change’? After that, I did a deep dive and I listened to the album and I loved it. Her voice is beautiful and her songs are catchy and just good vibes. With the exception of maybe two songs, I’ve really been enjoying her new music and I’m slowly becoming a fan.

Today I’ll talk about three songs off her new album that I’m really enjoying, and we’ll start with that title song, ‘Subject To Change.’ It’s a song that feels like a celebration - and a normalization - of changing your mind.

The song was written by Kelsea Ballerini, Karen Fairchild and Alysa Vanderheym.

There are two parts of the song that I enjoy the most and that’s the second pre-chorus and the chorus, which are as follows, and I quote:

[2nd Pre-Chorus]

“Thank God, I don't know about tomorrow (Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah)

Thank God, I take it day by day (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

Oh, I don't think about the chapters

It's all about turning the page

[Chorus]

I’m subject to going from zero to feelin' obsessed

To happy and laughin', then being upset

But if one thing’s the samе

It's that I'm subject to change, yeah

I guеss, I haven't decided if I'm gonna stay brunette

A little unpredictable, I confess

That if one thing's the same

It's that I'm subject to change.”

The spirit of the song seems to be that it’s okay to change your mind as you go through life. And it’s super empowering to hear a song like this because at times, in the past, when I was younger, I felt like because I made a decision I had to stick with it, or I felt pressured by other people to stick with what I’d decided. Something as simple as convincing myself, or being convinced by someone else, to go to a weekly dance class when I was younger because I made a commitment to do so, when really my first instinct was to not go because I was tired and didn’t feel like it. I had this feeling that I should adhere to other people’s expectations even if something about it didn’t feel right, because I didn’t yet know who I was as a person or didn’t feel like I could express myself fully. You know, that ‘don’t quit, just hang in there, give it another chance and/or keep trying’ sort of mentality, that I think can oftentimes be detrimental. It sort of goes along with the people pleasing mindset I mentioned in Episode 13, not wanting to disappoint others and being overly mindful of other people’s opinions. I used to seek external validation, instead of looking inward and honoring who I was.

Now that I’m older and now that I’ve grown as a person my perspective has changed tremendously. The only expectations that I need to meet are my own, no one else’s. And so changing my mind about something is perfectly fine. Sometimes something seems like a good idea at first, but then you realize it’s not. And so, instead of staying in a situation, or pursuing something that’s not beneficial to you, it’s best to just stop and leave, even if it disappoints other people. In fact, if I’m unsure about something these days, that’s usually a sign for me to just not do it at all. Anyway, the idea that it’s fine to live your truth and go about life that way is such a freeing realization, and it’s that message – that sense of freedom – that I get from this particular song. I absolutely love it, and I don’t know if I’ve heard a song address this concept in the way that Kelsea does before. Obviously, these are just my opinions and Kelsea’s reason for co-writing this and putting it on her album could be and likely is completely and vastly different from how it’s personally impacted and influenced me as a listener. I just wanted to share my thoughts about it because I enjoy the song a lot.

The next song from the album that I want to discuss is called, ‘Doin my best,’ and it was written by Kelsea Ballerini and Alysa Vanderheym. The chorus, which I love, is as follows, and I quote:

[Chorus]

“I'm doin' my best

I'm lettin' the rest roll off my shoulders, baby

Don't always get it right

Hey, and that's alright

That's what I'm learnin' lately, I keep

Growin' up, I keep

Rollin' up my sleeves and I think

That showin' up is good enough for me.”

I just think that those words are so encouraging to listeners. They remind me to keep moving forward, without worrying about perfection or dwelling on imperfection. And to just try and do what I can to make it through each day, and let go of the rest, which is typically out of my control.

The last song from the album that I want to discuss is called, ‘What I have,’ and it was written by Alysa Vanderheym, Cary Barlowe and Kelsea Ballerini. I enjoy the second verse, chorus and final chorus, which are as follows, and I quote:

[Verse 2]

“I bought the shoes where the bottom is red

But who the hell am I tryin' to impress?

When you sit back, that's when you notice

The Joneses can't even keep up with the Joneses

I know, don't gotta shine to be gold

[Chorus]

'Cause I got a roof over my hеad

I got a warm body in bed

I'm doing alright, right where I'm at

With what I havе

[Final Chorus]

I got the air, good eyes to see

Got so much more than I'll ever need

Even the bad days ain't all that bad

With what I have

I'm doin' alright, right where I'm at

With what I have.”

Being content with your current state in life is important. It’s always good to strive to be better if you feel called towards something more. But, having gratitude for where you are is so important. And this song has that sort of message, which is why I enjoy it so much. Yes, there’s a lot of amazing stuff out there, but look at what you have and don’t take it for granted. Running water, hot water, food to eat, money to buy it, your senses, your heartbeat, the ability to breathe. These are all things I once took for granted, but now I realize that absolutely nothing is guaranteed. So I try to find joy where I am. I get frustrated and feel stuck sometimes, yes, very much so, but I’m gradually doing better each day at letting go of those emotions after I allow them to surface, maybe cry a little bit, and then move on, recognizing that very little is in my control, which allows me to appreciate my life as it is.

Many aspects of social media make it seem as if you should be looking outward, at how other people live, at how other people look, and at what other people have accomplished. However, the only thing within our control is how we can improve ourselves by searching inward and working towards our personal goals. Everyone has their own timeline. That’s what I try to keep in mind whenever I start to feel envious of other people’s accomplishments. Some people will reach my desired destination before me, and that’s okay. Maybe I’m not ready for that particular blessing yet anyway, or maybe there’s a different path that I need to take in order to get there. Alternatively, maybe I think that I want a particular thing, but it’s not actually what I need at this point in my life. Similarly, I think about why I want that thing in the first place. Is it bringing me closer to my purpose, or is it because society tells me through ads or influencers that I should want it? Figuring out my why, and remembering my why, helps me to stay focused on what I need to do within, instead of being concerned about other people. It also helps to limit and curate my time on social media so that I’m not bombarded with certain types of content. For instance, I don’t follow many writers on social media because I’m still figuring out how to navigate that particular path in my life.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to me talk about my favorite songs from Kelsea Ballerini’s new album. I’d love to hear your opinion about it if you’re a fan of it as well, or if you decide to take the time to listen to her new album in the future, so please leave a comment on this episode’s post on our Instagram page at WhatGotMeThroughTheWeek, or please send an email to whatgotmethroughpodcast@gmail.com. The transcript and audio for this episode will be posted on HyssopandEbony.com.

Until next time!

[Outro Song – “Ocean waves on busy streets, butterflies on the concrete. The beauty I could not see becomes a deeper part of me. You remind me, You are present in every single thing.”]

Intro & Outro from Magnified (a cappella) © Amber Eboni

Amber Eboni 11/4/22 Amber Eboni 11/4/22

Episode Thirteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

(Audio for this podcast can be found under the Podcast Tab on the navigation menu)

[Intro Music – “There is poetry all around me…”]

Hello and Welcome to this week’s episode of the Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week? This week I’m gonna talk about some of the musicians that I’ve learned about through TikTok and absolutely love. But please listen to a very brief disclaimer before we get started, and please note that any songwriting credit information that’s mentioned in this episode was found on Genius.com.

This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for any professional medical, psychological, financial, legal, or other advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you feel you are in a life-threatening situation, please promptly contact the appropriate authorities, medical providers, or crisis intervention service providers in your local area for immediate assistance. All rights are reserved and this podcast, in whole or in part, may not be distributed, reproduced or otherwise used without the written permission of Hyssop & Ebony LLC.

Alright! Now let’s get started!

The first musician I want to talk about is Em Beihold. Months ago I was scrolling on TikTok and heard the song ‘Numb Little Bug’ and I connected with it right away. It has such relatable lyrics and every time I hear it, it makes me feel understood and less alone. Just so you know, Em released an EP, entitled Egg in the Backseat, over the summer.

The lyrics of the chorus and post chorus of ‘Numb Little Bug,’ as listed on genius.com, and shown in the official lyric video posted on YouTube, are, and I quote:

“Do you ever get a little bit tired of life?

Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die

Like you’re hangin’ by a thread but you gotta survive

‘Cause you gotta survive

Like your body's in the room but you're not really there
Like you have empathy inside but you don't really care
Like you're fresh outta love but it's been in the air
Am I past repair?

A little bit tired of trying to care when I don't
A little bit tired of quick repairs to cope
A little bit tired of sinkin', there's water in my boat
I'm barely breathin', tryna stay afloat
So I got these quick repairs to cope
Guess I'm just broken and broke.”

It’s such immaculate songwriting in my opinion by Em and her co-writers, Nick Lopez and Dru DeCaro, and it’s just a perfect pop song. It captures how so many of us are feeling these days in such a catchy way. I’ve also listened to some of her other songs and would highly recommend the song, “Too Precious” as well. It’s the kind of song that I wish I could’ve listened to when I was younger, with a message that, in my opinion, is essentially saying: it’s okay not to follow the crowd, it’s okay to be different, and you don’t need to worry so much about being accepted by others.

Next, I want to talk about Cat Burns. Her music showed up on my ‘For You’ page one day, and I loved her voice and ended up following her immediately afterwards so I could hear more of it. The songs I’m recommending of hers are ‘Anxiety’ and ‘People Pleaser’ because I relate to them so much. Both songs were released this year. I should mention that Cat released an EP called, Emotionally Unavailable, back in May. The tone of her voice is soulful, and her songs typically are very relatable.

‘Anxiety,’ which was co-written by Cat, as well as Sam Fischer, RISC (risk with a c?), and Mojam is really cool because it’s like she’s having a conversation with her anxiety and wondering what it would be like if it wasn’t a part of her life. That’s something that resonates with me deeply, because anxiety has certainly disrupted my life in some ways, it’s something that I’ve learned to accept and work around but I definitely appreciate those moments when I’m not worrying about anything.

So my favorite parts of the song are the first verse and the outro. The first verse, as shown on genius.com, and her lyric video for it on YouTube, is, and I quote:

“I think we need to talk
And get some things off my chest
You've always been in control
Claiming that you know what's best
But since I've gotten older
I kind of wanna know what life's like minus you.”

And the outro repeats the line, and I quote, “I can’t wait to be without my anxiety.”

If you happen to like Julia Michael’s song, ‘Anxiety,’ with Selena Gomez, you’d probably also appreciate this song as well, and vice versa.

The next song of hers that I adore is called, ‘People Pleaser,’ which was written by Cat, as well as Gerard O’Connell and Jorden Riley. And the reason why I enjoy it so much is because I used to be someone who put my needs last so that I could make other people happy or gain their approval or acceptance. And I’ve worked really hard over the last few years to figure out the root cause of this desire to help others even at my own expense, so that I can behave differently, in my own best interest, moving forward.

One of my favorite parts of the song is the second verse which is, as listed on genius.com, and I quote:

“I've put my comfort behind everyone else all my life
And it's so hard to describe, unless you do it too.”

And yet, this song describes it perfectly, in a really authentic way. And I look forward to hearing even more music from Cat in the future.

The last singer I want to talk about is Kaleah Lee. I didn’t hear her music from a video she posted on her TikTok page, or in the background of someone else’s video. Instead, I heard her singing other people’s songs on a TikTok live. I found the tone of her voice very comforting for some reason. I don’t quite know how to describe it. It’s quiet and subtle, but also raspy. It’s reminiscent of Gracie Abrams, obviously not the same, but a similar vibe, so if you like Gracie Abrams’ music you would probably like Kaleah’s music as well.

Seeing her on TikTok lives playing unreleased original songs and cover songs now and then whenever she randomly shows up on my For You page has been a great way to learn more about her music, and whenever I happen to randomly be scrolling through TikTok while she’s playing the guitar and singing, I’m always grateful for an opportunity to hear more of her singing live.

She has released two new singles so far this year, ‘Heavy Handed’ and ‘Anchored,’ and, they’re very good. They’re self -written and she’s just a very talented songwriter, in my opinion.

The chorus of ‘Heavy Handed’ as verified by what’s on genius.com is as follows, and I quote:

“Broken down by the things that made me

Built a house with the things that saved me

Chopped it down in the name of changing

Name of changing

Turn my back on the things that scare me

Holding on to the plot, just barely

Write it down in the name of changing

Name of changing.”

When I listen to these lyrics, I just feel as if it accurately reflects the motions of life, and what life is once you reach adulthood, so well. You think you’re on solid ground, then you get shaken, and you try to get back on your feet but after a while you feel stagnant so you try to do something different, all in the pursuit of happiness, or experiencing something more. I just think it’s beautifully written.

A music video was released that includes lyrics for her single, ‘Anchored,’ and the song starts with the lines, and I quote:

“Worried I’ll never leave my hometown

I’ll be glued to the floor of the same house

Driving through the same streets at dawn

I rode my bike past the same lawns

The only thing changed are the wheels that I’m on.”

‘Anchored’ made me cry the first time I heard it – and they were tears of feeling seen and understood as I thought of my younger self, and also my current self who feels somewhat stuck in life, so it wasn’t anything bad - but because of that I won’t even begin talking about the lyrics of the chorus. Instead, I’ll let you listen to it on your own and discover the magic of it for yourselves. But I truly, truly hope that you enjoy her music as much as I do!

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to me talk about these musicians that I found through TikTok. I’d love to hear your opinion about these artists if you’re fans of them as well, or if you decide to take the time to listen to some of their music, so please leave acomment on this episode’s post on our Instagram page at WhatGotMeThroughTheWeek, or send an email to whatgotmethroughpodcast@gmail.com. The transcript and audio for this episode will be posted on HyssopandEbony.com.

Until next time!

[Outro Song – “Ocean waves on busy streets, butterflies on the concrete. The beauty I could not see becomes a deeper part of me. You remind me, You are present in every single thing.”]

Intro & Outro from Magnified (a cappella) © Amber Eboni

Episode Seventeen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

Episode Sixteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

Episode Fifteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

Episode Fourteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

Episode Thirteen Transcript - The Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week?

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