Episode Nine Transcript - The Butterflies on the Concrete Podcast : What got me Through The Week?

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Welcome to the Butterflies On The Concrete Podcast: What Got Me Through The Week? This week I want to talk about the band, Paramore. I’ve been a fan since around 2008, around the same time I started watching Korean dramas, actually. But while my loved one introduced me to Korean dramas, the way I found out about Paramore was quite different. I was looking at their label, Fueled by Ramen’s website because someone I had a crush on at the time told me about a different band I can’t even recall now, and I was trying to learn more about it. In the end, things didn’t work out with my crush, but that day, Paramore caught my eye, and I’ve loved their music ever since.

I was initially drawn to their album Riot! because of its relatable songs about romantic relationships like “For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic,” “That’s What You Get,” and “crushcrushcrush.” And then I fell in love  with “Brick by Boring Brick,” from their album, Brand New Eyes, and another song -  one of their most popular songs, also from that album -“The Only Exception,” which is a song that I used to listen to while aspiring to experience those feelings. Now that I’m older, though, the songs that resonate with me the most come from their two more recent albums, their self-titled album which came out in 2013, and After Laughter, which came out in 2017. Those songs, which deal with the reality of life and hardships in life in general – whether from relationships or the pressures from society at large – are what I’m going to talk about today. They’re the songs that I probably listen to the most, the songs from this band that have helped me the most.

I do want to start out by saying that the beauty of music is that for every listener a song can mean something different. For the songs I’m going to discuss, the way I view them and how I describe the ways in which these particular songs have helped me, might be different from the artist’s intended meaning of the songs, or be different from how another listener might interpret it.

Now, let’s get start with some of the songs I’d recommend from their self-titled album. All the lyrics mentioned are taken from Spotify or Genius.com, and were written by Hayley Williams and Taylor York, with one exception, “ Anklebiters,” which lists Justin Meldal -Johnsen as a co-writer according to Genius.com.

The first song I’ll talk about is “Daydreaming.” In general, I tend to view learning to be content with life as a good thing. I think it’s important to be grateful for where you are, and not take things for granted, because your current situation might be better off now than it was in the past. And I’ve learned from experience that life can always get worse, not just better, so having gratitude and finding happiness in your current situation is definitely important. However, with that said, I think it’s safe to say that when you’re going through a difficult season in your life, or if you’re dissatisfied with certain aspects of your life, it’s normal to wish you were somewhere – anywhere- else.  Whether it’s you reminiscing about a different, happier stage of your life from the past, or longing for an unknown future that you imagine would be less painful, or sad, or scary than your current harsh or uncertain reality. And so, for me, that’s what I personally interpret this song to be about. Some of my favorite lyrics from it are:

“I wanna get out and build my own home

On a street where reality is not much different

From dreams I’ve had, a dream is all I have...”

And “It’s not that I won’t remember where I’m from

Just don’t want to be here no more...”

That feeling of wanting to escape your current reality, the way it’s captured in this song is so very relatable.

The next song is, “Ain’t It Fun.” Hayley and Taylor won a Grammy for this song and rightfully so. I remember listening to it on my way to work when it first came out and grooving to it, because it speaks the facts of adulting so bluntly in an upbeat song. I’m a big fan of sad or cynical or sarcastic lyrics with a good beat, the juxtaposition of the two, really feeds my soul. Like, yeah, this is just the truth, thank you for telling it in this way. They verbalized how I think so many of us feel about life, we think being an adult is going to be one thing, and then we enter adulthood and learn it’s not what we imagined it to be. Many of the support systems and structure we once had are gone, friendships fade as everyone goes on their own separate paths and run towards their dreams that they might make a reality, or might fail at terribly. It’s hard making new friends, moving to new places and adjusting on your own. My favorite lyrics from the song include,  the chorus, which I’m sure you already know, but I’ll say it anyway…

Please bear with me all of these lyrics are going to sound way better when Hayley Williams sings them as opposed to me saying them. So I apologize for that in advance. But, the, so, the chorus of “Ain’t It Fun” is:

“Ain’t it fun? Living in the real world. Ain’t it good? Being all alone.” Because the answer is no, clearly, it’s not fun. It sucks.

And, also, “Ain’t it good to be on your own? Ain’t it fun? You can’t count on no one. Ain’t it fun? Living in the real world.”

Because that’s just very much how life is. It’s hard to find people you can rely on, and sometimes it’s hard to be the person others rely on if there’s no reciprocity. Some people are really good at making friends and maintaining those friendships but I’m terrible at it and so there are very few people who I feel I can count on and I value them tremendously. Quality over quantity is my goal now that I’m older, whereas when I was younger I thought quantity and being accepted by others was more important and I didn’t really know how to build a lasting connection with others either so I ended up with friendships that were lacking a solid foundation, and were less strong, because of it.

The song “Last Hope” has gotten me through so many moments of self-doubt and confusion as I’ve tried and failed to chase after my dreams. I’ve just sat and listened to it over and over again, trying to keep myself going, to have that mustard seed of faith and not give up even though I realized I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my life. Especially on those days when just making it through another day seems tough and feels like a victory. The lyrics are just so raw and honest, and beautiful as a result of that sincerity. Some of my favorite parts of the song are:

The opening lines, “I don’t even know myself at all

I thought I would be happy by now

The more I try to push it, I realize

Gotta let go of control…”

And then the chorus, of course:

 “It’s just a spark

But it’s enough to keep me going

And when it’s dark out, no one’s around

It keeps glowing.”

I mean, I love the next part, too, the whole song is incredible. Listen to it now, please, if you haven’t heard it before, or if it’s been a while since you’ve last heard it. As I worked on this episode, I realized just how much I’ve learned about navigating life from this song and some of the other songs I’ve discussed and will be mentioning shortly. Like, I really grew up with these songs, and the perspective they’ve given me on how to keep moving forward and keep processing the randomness and the joy and the cruelty of life is really remarkable. It’s so powerful now that I’m talking about it and thinking about just how much I’ve relied on this music. It’s amazing that this band has created this music that’s so life changing. Truly. I’m so grateful that they exist.

“Anklebiters” is a song that has become more and more relevant to me as I’ve gotten older. It starts with the line, “Why do you care what people think?” And then the pre-chorus and chorus continue spitting straight facts with:

“Fall in love with yourself

Because

Someday you’re gonna be the only one you’ve got…” (repeated twice, followed by)

“Why you wanna please the world and leave yourself to drop dead?

Someday you’re gonna be the only one you’ve got.”

I used to view what the chorus meant differently than I do now. Initially, I just took it to mean that I should focus and strengthen my relationships with the people closest to me.  After I lost the person closest to me years later, though, the song’s meaning changed for me, because like… even those closest to you won’t always be there for you, even if they want to be, because life is so unpredictable, and therefore it’s important to learn how to become self-sufficient and to love yourself fully and live without the opinions and limitations that other people may try to place on you. You might someday literally be all you’ve got in this world, a very sobering thought. So, of course, enjoy other people’s company and make meaningful relationships, but also learn how to be okay on your own, not limiting your vision of what your life can be out of concern for other people, or because of what someone else told you was or was not possible, and know that you *can* be okay on your own, if necessary, because life could force you to be alone - or put you in a season of isolation -  whether you want to be or not.

The last song that has helped me a lot from this album, is “Future.” Some of its lyrics are:

“I’m writing the future, I’m writing it out, loud

We don’t talk about the past

We don’t talk about the past now.”

 And

“So, just think of the future

Think of a new life

And don’t get lost in the memories

Keep your eyes on a new prize.”

It sort of follows the same theme of “Daydreaming,” in my opinion. The hope that the future will be better than the present, you just have to hold on. Again, this song has been on repeat for me over the years.

The album After Laughter came out at a time when my loved one was in the hospital, a few weeks before they passed away. And that was a devastating time in my life, filled with sorrow and stress and despair, but the songs on this album helped me feel understood and less alone during that difficult time in my life which I’m still healing from even now. I don’t think anyone ever really gets over losing a loved one, instead it stays with you and becomes a part of who you are as time goes by.  There are several songs I’ve held onto from this album, but because I’m afraid I’ve already been talking too much, I’ll narrow it down to just two.

The song “Fake Happy,” is so wonderful. It made me feel seen. The chorus is absolutely everything, and I quote,

“Oh, please, don’t ask me how I’ve been

Don’t make me play pretend

Oh, no, oh what’s the use?

Oh, please, I bet everybody here is fake happy, too.”

It’s another song that’s super upbeat with what sounds to me like somewhat sarcastic lyrics.  

It makes me think of Ariana Grande’s song, “Fake Smile” and Jensen McRae’s “Happy Girl.” That theme of society expecting you to put on a façade of happiness for the comfort of others even if you don’t feel happy. How many times have you said “you’re fine” when someone asks, “How are you?” Even if you weren’t actually okay, you know? I’ve found people rarely want to know how you’re actually feeling, they just ask as a courtesy. It’s more acceptable to pretend to be happy instead. “Fake smile” is more so about being determined to express your true feelings in spite of that expectation. “Happy Girl” is acknowledging that expectation and trying to begrudgingly fit into it. And “Fake Happy” in my view is a mixture of both. Playing along, knowing you’re not happy but since it’s something everyone does, you just go along with it, even at the risk of hiding those sad feelings even to yourself, sort of being disingenuous about social expectation in a lighthearted way.

Lastly, the song “26” has gotten me through some of my lowest moments. The lyrics of the chorus are literally what I’ve needed to hear in order to get by, and they have healed me so many times:

“Hold onto hope if you got it

Don’t let it go for nobody

And they say that dreaming is free

But I wouldn’t care what it cost me.”

And,

“Reality will break your heart,

Survival will not be the hardest part

It’s keeping all your hopes alive

When all the rest of you has died

So let it break your heart.”

That acknowledgment of how tough life can be, and the encouragement given to us, the listener, to hold onto life and not give up in spite of life’s hardships, no matter what, is just incredible songwriting. I love Paramore and their honest and sincere portrayals of life often paired with an energetic and fun beat, or head banging guitar riff, or an acoustic melody that makes you feel something even when you’ve gotten used to feeling numb. And Hayley’s voice is a God given talent, so powerful and flawless on the record, and then when she sings live somehow it’s a billion times better, when it was already perfect.

I believe they’re touring this fall and so I’m anticipating and looking forward to news of a forthcoming album whenever they’re ready to release it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this week’s episode. If anyone is listening to this and would like to talk more about how much they also love Paramore, or the ways Paramore’s music has helped  improve their lives, or want to share something else that  got them through the week, I want to know! Please comment on this episode’s post on our Instagram page WhatGotMeThroughTheWeek, or send an email at whatgotmethroughpodcast@gmail.com. The transcript and audio for this episode will be posted on HyssopandEbony.com.

Until next time!